Warning! May cause Hiccups.
Did you know stress and hogs could cause hiccups?
This morning I attended yet another job interview, which I felt, went quite well. They were a younger panel than I’ve faced in the past and seemed to really like me (fingers crossed!). However, I do hope it was the quality of my answers and not the hiccups that impressed them.
Waiting in a small room. Alone. First interview candidate of the day. Wiping my sweaty palms frantically in anticipation of the many handshakes ahead. Hiccup. I don’t have any water. Hiccup. Footsteps. Hiccup. Door handle creaks. Hiccup. Hold my breath…1, 2, 3, 4. Good Morning. Hiccup.
At this point my mind is racing, I switch on the wit and charm, hoping to draw attention away from the impostors. I am rewarded with a smile, a chuckle and assurance that I shouldn’t worry about it. Time to get down to business…
Well, I hiccupped through the entire interview and have yet to stop. I have tried holding my breath, drinking upside down (don’t ask-it usually works though) and I am still going. This is without doubt my longest stint with the hiccups and so I decided to google the bastards. I came across this interesting bit of hiccup trivia on http://www.thelongestlistofthelongeststuffatthelongestdomainnameatlonglast.com (what a name):
So what was the longest hiccup fit in the world?
The biggest cause of hiccups is eating to fast.
Back in 1922 Charles Osborne of Iowa must have done just that, because he got a case of the hiccups. Actually his hiccups started while he was weighing a hog.
This was no ordinary case, it was a world record hiccup fit, it lasted 68 years up until they mysteriously stopped in 1990, hiccupping an estimated 430 million times. He died 1 year after his hiccups stopped.
In the early years Charles Osborne hiccupped up to 40 times a minute, which in the later years slowed to 20 times.
Charles Osborne, however, did manage a somewhat ordinary life, he was married twice and had 8 children.
I always wanted to be in the Guinness Book of World Records as a kid but Mr. Osborne is one man I’d rather not challenge. Hopefully weighing hogs is the only cause of long-term hiccups.
If anyone has any weird and wonderful remedies I am willing to give anything a go.
Drinking upside down usually does work. Try it again.
Glad to hear the interview went well – despite the hiccoughs.
I have to kneel in seiza and use the breathing exercises from my days of doing karate. Only thing that works for me any more.
Red hot poker up the arse usually does the trick for me. Whatever it takes, I fucking hate hiccups. Good luck with the job, let us all know when you hear back from them. I hate interviews too.
you just know you rushed whatever brekkie you had or drank. Relax, don’t worry about the interviews. With your talent a job will come – or maybe you could create your own. A cure? No interviews. I find letters from either the bank or the taxman cure my hiccups. But then those letters cause stress, which is worse. I would have been better off with the hiccups. On balance, I have convinced myself that there are worse things than hiccups. Chronic flatulence, for instance.
Have they stopped yet?
@Kerryview: I find farting very satisfying.
Holding your mouth shut and forcing some of them to stay in til it hurts works for me.
Thanks guys for all your suggestions they did pass by 4pm on the day in question. Lots of holding my breath and drinking in various positions did the trick.
Andrew I am not going to take your advice on board this once and Kerryview I’m with you on the chronic flatulance. Yes Thriftcriminal farting is satisfying for the farter, not the smeller I’d rather be in the presence of a hiccupper any day.
take 10 consecutive small sips of water followed by one big gulp. (if at any time it is interrupted by a hiccup, stop and try again). This has always worked for me. Hope it helps