“If they’re still going then they’re not going well.”
They’re still going.
Had the interview for my dream job this evening.
Even though I had practised typing really fast while performing Grease is the Word standing on my head all at the same time nerves came and gobbled me up.
My hands were shaking, I was choking on my words and talking like Johnny 5 on speed. I’m so pissed off with myself because I should have had this one in the bag. I even had contacts.
I wish I knew what came over me. Every other interview
I’ve been a little nervous but still remained in control of my tongue and limbs. I am my own worst enemy sometimes, and then we all are in our own ways.
My way is this: I worry too much, I beat myself to a pulp about things that happen everyone, then I eat, put on weight and beat myself up about that. I have well a truely wedged myself in a rut over the past month or two, harrassing myself for “failing” when I just haven’t nabbed the one post that dozens of other people are also applying for, which essentially means all of us that have been turned down are normal and the people getting the jobs are just freaks really, oddballs if you will.
Mr. Sleepy reminded me today that I am in fact still young (the early onset of dementia seemed to have erased this piece of information from my memory). I have plenty of time to work what’s the rush? He says this as a man with a job by the way but then someone has to feed us (mmm…lady of leisure. I think I’d be good at that. That must be what he meant by that 
).
From here on in I’m going to try my best to lay off the punches and give myself a break. I say this with the greatest of intentions, kind of like “I won’t eat too much this Christmas”. Two days later a search party finds the victim in a food coma on the living room couch covered in a duvet of sweet wrappers.
No I don't have money to put in your hat, I'm a lady of leisure....Sweet wrapper?
