I have been asked not to blog the truth.
I’m not sure how I feel about that yet. I’ve been mulling it over in my head and have yet to come up with a conclusion. It seems to appear that the truth hurts and I for one am very much aware of this feeling.
I ask then, why I, after the truth being dangled before my eyes, should be the one to hold back, why I should be the one to exercise self control in order to protect the feelings of someone who’s laziness in this department has reduced me to a blubbering mess over the past few days. Why must I always be the grown up?
See I knew what came on the CV and I still gave him the job. It’s difficult not to feel stupid, but I know that being naiive was my only wrong doing. Relationships always go through rough patches, it’s in their nature. Relationships end that too is in their nature. It just hurts to think that my trust issues all along weren’t just me even though I’d been convinced of it. This leopard is clever with words and charm but his spots will never change. I’m just thankful I woke up and saw each spot for what it really is.
Truth hurts, yes. It hurts until you accept it and deal with it. If you don’t deal with it your truth will continue to hurt anyone you try to love.
I won’t be hurt anymore.
Ah Little Miss, you take the risk of being hurt regardless what relationship you go into. It’s a sad life for those who don’t take that risk though. Don’t regret anything – remember all the good times.
As for truth – it took me a long time to realise how important truth is to a relationship. I would say to anyone beginning a relationship to lay all the cards on the table up front. Paranoia and mistrust will eat away at a couple for far too long if there is a basis of lies.
Ahem, I left the TV on while I slept last night – Dr. Phil reruns must have been on.
Darren: Don’t you worry I haven’t given up on love…I know it’s out there and hopefully I’ll be lucky enough to experience the true kind some day.
What saddens me most about all this is that I don’t know if the “good times” were even good. It’s difficult not to feel like I’ve been wrapped up in a lie for the past few years.
Not much else matters when respect is thrown out the window.
I’d love to know what Dr. Phil has to say about all this
My view on this respect where respect is due. If you are not the wrong doer in this situation and it would appear that you are not, then so long as you dont use names and addresses, its your blog, do as you wish.
It would seem that the leopard is only worried about himself and forfeited any right to tell you what to do.
@Keara That said, what’s the point appearing malicious? I don’t believe in censorship, but maybe holding back a bit isn’t such a bad idea.
I would always say, draft it, and then leave it for a week, because if you’re like me, the heat of the moment stuff calms down, and you realise you never wanted to actually post it in the first place.
Seeing it written down can help too… weirdly.
*hugs*
Keara, Darren and RP: I’m not gonna write anything malicious. I’m better than that.
Thinking of you Little Miss, that’s all. Nothing more.
Thanks Rick…
Aw Little Miss, I really feel for you. You are not the only grown up, unfortunately we often have to ’suck it up’ and be the bigger person or the more mature person in day to day life. It makes us better & stronger for it, I promise!
I really admire your courage and strength, to stand tall and to say feck it, I have been hurt but I will get over it. Sometimes it is very hard to see beyond the pain and I admire you for that. And i’m a little envious too!
RP’s advice was good, write it all out, everything you would like to say on your blog…every nasty bit of it! Just don’t hit publish. Save it. Go back in a few days or a week and alter it to the feelings you feel then. Save it. Go back a while later. Eventually you’ll either have a really good blog post or you’ll think it’s not worth wasting your blog space on the subject
(((Hugs for you)))
Anger is easy and revenge as they say is sweet but ultimately it just turns you into a bitter person. The true test of having loved someone is to wish them happiness or at least contentment even when they have hurt you.
It’s so very hard to be the bigger person especially when you have had your heart broken but I do believe that it’s the only way to move on.
You’ll be fine girl! Just give it time.
xxx
I also hear that beer heals all ales!
Thank you Whoops and Lottie I appreciate the advice and support.
I’ve been surrounded lately by my family and friends, all of whom feel hurt by what has happened as they trusted and accepted him into their lives too. I guess seeing how it has effected them has made me suck it up and wear my brave face.
Yea there are teary times and angry times but there has also been smiley times, laughing times and empowering times. I refuse to let bitterness overcome me. I know not all guys are like him and I know that true love does exsist. Hopefully I’ll experience that some day. I can’t clam up when I believe this.
So I guess what I’m saying is I’ll be ok. I can see now that I am better off without a person like that in my life and if people are already commenting on how much happier I seem with all this going on, then that speaks volumes in itself.
Is this written in riddles or am I totally missing something? Leopards? CVs? Relationships?
hey Sexy Pedestrian it’s basically about a relationship gone sour…I tend to get very metaphorical when I feel strongly about something…sorry. I’m not always this cryptic
Cryptic is the only interesting way to be!
I don’t believe in revenge either Little Miss, karma will sort everyone out in the end and becoming an embittered person just does you more harm.
But but but –
Sorry, I know I’m late to this one.
It’s not really fair to insist that an injured party behave nobly after the fact, so as not to be seen as bitter, etc. Suddenly all the responsibility is with you, while the person who did the hurting is protected by the code of good behaviour they didn’t adhere to in the first place.
Just because the relationship is ended doesn’t mean you’re not still affected by what happened during it.
I’m not advocating slandering and tarring and feathering etc. It’s hard, I know, for everyone.
But if something knocks you off kilter, makes you doubt what you had, who you are… Christ, you should be allowed talk about it. \
I think I feel strongly about this because my father had a long term affair, which my mother wasn’t allowed tell anyone about. It was awful for her. A huge weight.
And after he finally kicked her out, he kind of painted himself as the poor lonely struggling singleton, all alone in his big house, not knowing what to do with himself.
While continuing his relationship and moving her in, just as my mother always feared.
I understand why people cheat, but not why the person who’s been cheated on has to be implicated in any part of the cheating, if you know what I mean.
Hey, cool tips. Perhaps I’ll buy a glass of beer to that man from that chat who told me to go to your site